Time for Plan B

This week has been a little challenging. I finished six rounds of chemo over the Spring and Summer and was on schedule to check into the hospital today to start my stem cell transplant. To do that I have to be in complete remission.

On Monday I had a PET scan which is pretty much a full body scan, and I got the results on Tuesday. They did not show remission. Some of my areas of cancer are still here, and some areas got more massive, and most frustrating some areas which I did get clear are full of cancer again. I am not in anywhere near as bad shape as I was when I started in February, but indeed, I am nowhere near remission. The cumulative effects of chemo have brought me to my knees, and the last two rounds were turbocharged, boosted chemo = 125% strength, in an attempt to get ahead of this wildly aggressive cancer.

So onto Plan B! There is a brand new drug which the research community has been working on diligently for four years and has shown success. So next week we are going to try a completely different approach, and I am entering into a clinical trial to see if this will be effective for me. I will just be taking two pills daily. I am happy to have a break from chemo to give my body a chance to get a little stronger again.

The other piece of news I received is that I no longer am eligible for an Autologous transplant, using my own harvested stem cells. I now will need to have an Allogeneic transplant, using a donor who will probably be my brother. This is disappointing because it becomes a more complicated and risky procedure. But first I have to get into remission. If the clinical trial does not work, there are still other options we can try.

Just before I got my results, I was fortunate to read an article by Dr. Kamath from the oncology department at my hospital Northwestern Memorial, which was published in the Tribune. http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-perspec-cancer-war-aretha-franklin-john-mccain-0826-story.html

He made a point beautifully that I really needed to hear. He describes the attitude that many people with advanced stage cancer feel they need to take. I certainly have been. The idea that if I was enough of a warrior, had a positive enough attitude, kept my spirits up that I would be sure to defeat this. I still maintain that it is vital to keep a positive attitude, but I now know I do not have to take personal responsibility for the complex chemistry going on within my body, or feel guilty if I hit a setback. Cancer continues to teach me valuable life lessons. I am eager to get going on my clinical trial next week and hopeful it will have an impact. If not, well then it will be onto plan C!